Today I finished my final exam. Chemistry, blah. I can't even find the words to describe how much I detest Chemistry. But alas, it's over now. Although my performance could have been better (to say the least) I've learned not to get down about it. Worst case scenario, I have to sit a supplementary exam or repeat the topic. Best case scenario? I pass. Eep. It does make me nervous, but what's done is done, and I have survived my first year at university.
What a funny year it's been. Funny? Maybe that's not the right word to use here. Crazy? That seems to suit the situation much better. The last 11 months or so have been full of ups and downs and all those lessons I was supposed to learn and maybe shouldn't have learnt so soon. Brilliant people, tough classes, new expectations, different desires for the future... I've found myself this year. It's almost as if the real me was hiding beneath someone who was pretending. Pretending to be someone she wasn't so she could fit in with people she didn't really need. But over the last semester, I've surrounded myself with people and things that have made me happier than I could have ever imagined, and all of a sudden the pieces fit into place. Everything makes sense, and while I'm still trying to figure out where I want to be in life, I feel more real than I have for a very long time.
I've lost friends and made friends. I've learnt how it feels to love, to lose, to have your heart broken time after time again. I've failed for the first time in my life, but achieved things I never would have dreamed of. This year has been tough, and make no mistake future first year uni students, it's nothing like school. You're going to have to work your butt off to pass, you're going to learn how it feels to pull an all nighter reading journal articles that make absolutely not sense, doing long days and nights on campus, all while being in the best kind of learning atmosphere possible. I've learnt how it feels to be a mature student, responsible for my own education in an inspirational and vocationally driven environment.
All in all, this year was everything I wanted it to be and more. I don't have the huge group of Adelaide friends I thought I would, I'm not acing all my classes and I'm still not as independent as I'd like to be. But I've come out alive, and that's something to be proud of.