Day 38 of my summer holidays. 63 days until uni goes back. Or nine weeks, 1512 hours, 90,720 minutes, 5, 443, 200 seconds. I'm going crazy. Or, crazier than I was before. I'm one of those weird people who honestly doesn't enjoy holidays much at all. Yes, I like the break that I probably deserve after working so bloody hard this year, but I only need a month. Three weeks even! But three months? This is killing me. I like learning, I like being productive, I like homework!
I'm stuck back in my country town until February, and I'll be honest, it's not the most exciting place to be. It probably could be, if I had an awesome social life and a huge group of friends and liked the pub and stuff, but I don't have any of those things, so I'm trying to make do with what I have. And what I have, is a job at a fast food restaurant. My days consist of me waking up, going to work, sitting around watching TV, surfing the internet and going to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Being on holidays also gives me way too much time to think. I start questioning everything I've done, and thinking of how life could have been different if I'd made a different decision. For example, the other night I was wondering how my day could have been if I'd had toast for breakfast instead of cereal. Or if I'd actually gotten off my bum and learned more French instead of playing Portal. The over-thinking then needs to me being over-emotional. Well, more so than I usually am. Cut to yesterday. I was honestly in a good mood but for some reason Mum kept asking me if I was okay. "Karagh, are you okay? Are you alright? Are you okay? What's wrong?" SERIOUSLY, NOTHING. *breaks down in tears*
I miss people, I miss Adelaide, I miss independence. Nine weeks doesn't seem like such a long time, but when my current daily itinerary is so monotonous I might have to accept the fact that I'm going to lose more and more of my sanity each day. Piece by piece, until someone starts telling me how the immune system fights off viral infections...