Loneliness, or frustration?

I live away from home to go to uni, so on holidays, I spend just about all time at my family's house in a country town. I normally get really excited about coming home on the holidays, and I get devastated when I leave, but this time, everything feels different. It's not being around my family that's done it; if I had my way I'd take my family back to Adelaide with me. It's not work; I love my job here. It's just... The general vibe of the town. The stench of drama, loneliness, bitchiness. My town, isn't as bad as people make it out to be. I mean, there's just as much going on in other places as there is here, but I can't escape it like I can in Adelaide. If I'm feeling blue, suffocated, whatever, when I'm living away from home, I can be alone and if I want, I can go somewhere new, somewhere different. I can distract myself, I can study, I sleep it off. I don't feel like I can do that here.

I wouldn't be feeling this way if there wasn't something to trigger it, and I have been a bit down in the dumps lately due to sickness, so it's given me time to think. I'm lonely here. I know, it's strange, being lonely when I'm surrounded by my friends and family, compared to being in Adelaide where I could go days without talking to someone. But you don't have to be alone to be lonely. I thought I had it all, but over the last couple of weeks, people have drifted away like sticks thrown into the sea. Whether I pushed them or not, well, that doesn't concern me right now. What concerns me is that I don't feel like I have a soul in the world that I can confide in.

Even if you're the kind of person who likes being by themselves the majority of the time, we all need a friend at some point of our lives. I know I have friends, but I still feel excluded and desolate. Like there is no point in me being here but to make mum happy and earn some pretty sweet cash while before the study starts up again. There is so much to get out, so much I want to scream, but it's like no one is listening. Everyone has other priorities, everyone has their own lives. Maybe I should just stop complaining about it and get out there and set my own priorities straight. All I know, is I would do anything to be back in Adelaide some nights, because it's easier to cry there, than it is to in a town where you should be the happiest girl in the world.