I wouldn't be feeling this way if there wasn't something to trigger it, and I have been a bit down in the dumps lately due to sickness, so it's given me time to think. I'm lonely here. I know, it's strange, being lonely when I'm surrounded by my friends and family, compared to being in Adelaide where I could go days without talking to someone. But you don't have to be alone to be lonely. I thought I had it all, but over the last couple of weeks, people have drifted away like sticks thrown into the sea. Whether I pushed them or not, well, that doesn't concern me right now. What concerns me is that I don't feel like I have a soul in the world that I can confide in.
Even if you're the kind of person who likes being by themselves the majority of the time, we all need a friend at some point of our lives. I know I have friends, but I still feel excluded and desolate. Like there is no point in me being here but to make mum happy and earn some pretty sweet cash while before the study starts up again. There is so much to get out, so much I want to scream, but it's like no one is listening. Everyone has other priorities, everyone has their own lives. Maybe I should just stop complaining about it and get out there and set my own priorities straight. All I know, is I would do anything to be back in Adelaide some nights, because it's easier to cry there, than it is to in a town where you should be the happiest girl in the world.