Reflections and Resolutions

2011 is coming to end much faster than I ever expected it to, and so I'm sitting here trying to figure out some new year's resolutions for 2012, knowing full well I'll give them up a few weeks into January. I don't even remember what my resolutions were for this year, so I can't really say I've stuck to them. I thought, to know what I want to change this year, I need to reflect on the months that have passed and how I would have done things differently. I may not have a chance to change anything now, but I can always improve things in the future.

This year has been one of the hardest in my life so far, but I think I handled it all much better than I ever thought I would. In January I moved out of home and to the big city to start uni. Getting an offer to study Biomedical Science at the University of Adelaide is my biggest achievement of 2011. I don't remember a time I was happier then when I accepted my offer. But of course, this was a massive change. Goodbye Port Pirie, hello Adelaide with all it's scary people and scary bus routes and scary expensive things. Thinking back now I don't even know why I was so terrified. I've definitely turned into a city person. My life has adapted remarkably well to the city and everything feels so natural. In fact, being home in what feels like a tiny, stagnant town (sorry Pirie, I do love you) is strange and suffocating now. But I digress. While I settled into the city, I struggled to make friends, and I struggled with homesickness. I found ways to deal with both these things, I could make it easier for myself and fix things up a bit more in 2012, and so we come to my first two resolutions: Stop being a wallflower, put myself out there and make more friends (I'm actually an interesting person! Who knew!) and; Keep myself busy and stick to a routine to avoid homesickness, it works.

One of 2011's biggest lessons: Break ups are not the end of the world! Shock! Horror! Yes, they suck a lot but seriously, if I could go back I would have been so much easier on myself. The point is, I learnt a lot about myself through it, and for that, I thank him. It's made me a stronger person, blah blah blah, insert sappy stuff here. More importantly, it's taught me that boys aren't everything. Who needs 'em? Over the last few weeks I've been labelled as jealous by a few people simply because I am single, and I don't really enjoy hearing about everyone's relationships, including those I shouldn't be hearing about at all, being people I don't even know. I'm not jealous, I just want more stimulating conversation to be honest... And I like being single thank you very much! However, resolution number three: Put my focus on more important things for a while, my non-existent love life can often take over when I don't want it to. 


It's okay, I've nearly finished my ranting and raving. This is my penultimate reflection and resolution, then you can all go home to your families. If you bothered reading in this first place, kudos to you! Anyway. I wasn't very healthy this year, to sound as non-dramatic as I possibly can. But yeah, my immune system sucked. Ear infections, chest infections, bronchitis, multiple colds and flus, WHOOPING COUGH. Which I have been vaccinated against, so I'm still amazed. I actually find it ironic that I get sick so often and want to work in microbiology and immunology... My immune response is pretty pathetic for a reason though. I've got iron deficiency anaemia, so, you know, my body fails a bit in the blood department. But this is probably my most important new year's resolution, and that is: Get better, exercise more often, eat healthy and become a red-meat-a-vore.

And finally, we come to one of those typical new year's promises that we as students often make to ourselves, with only 20% of us actually following through with it, or sticking to it. Work harder, be more organised, stay on a Credit/Distinction average. No more Passes. The only passes I got this year were for Chemistry 1A/1B, but with that out the way, I really don't have any more excuses. I'm a good student, and I have a half-decent brain. When I study hard, I get really good grades. I lifted by grades from Credits to Distinctions over the duration of this year, and I was super proud of myself for it. Now that I know I definitely can do well at uni, I have more confidence for next year and have set my expectations a bit higher. I'm going to be doing topics that I love and enjoy, so it's going to be a hell of a lot easier to stay on top of things and pass with flying colours. I've even added a Diploma of Language to my enrollment, so we'll just throw this resolution in here for good measure: Be able to speak basic French by December 2012.

It's way too hard to stop writing once I start, but if you've read all of this, good on you. I mainly write this blog for my own benefit; to practise my writing and put my ideas into words. But thanks to the few people who've followed me this year, I hope it's been at least semi-entertaining for you.

Well done to you 2011, for being a pretty decent year. I've made new friends, improved myself, discovered what I want in the future, become more independent and been forced to grow up. The only thing left to say is bring on 2012!

Holidays make me loopy.

Day 38 of my summer holidays. 63 days until uni goes back. Or nine weeks, 1512 hours, 90,720 minutes, 5, 443, 200 seconds. I'm going crazy. Or, crazier than I was before. I'm one of those weird people who honestly doesn't enjoy holidays much at all. Yes, I like the break that I probably deserve after working so bloody hard this year, but I only need a month. Three weeks even! But three months? This is killing me. I like learning, I like being productive, I like homework!

I'm stuck back in my country town until February, and I'll be honest, it's not the most exciting place to be. It probably could be, if I had an awesome social life and a huge group of friends and liked the pub and stuff, but I don't have any of those things, so I'm trying to make do with what I have. And what I have, is a job at a fast food restaurant. My days consist of me waking up, going to work, sitting around watching TV, surfing the internet and going to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Being on holidays also gives me way too much time to think. I start questioning everything I've done, and thinking of how life could have been different if I'd made a different decision. For example, the other night I was wondering how my day could have been if I'd had toast for breakfast instead of cereal. Or if I'd actually gotten off my bum and learned more French instead of playing Portal. The over-thinking then needs to me being over-emotional. Well, more so than I usually am. Cut to yesterday. I was honestly in a good mood but for some reason Mum kept asking me if I was okay. "Karagh, are you okay? Are you alright? Are you okay? What's wrong?" SERIOUSLY, NOTHING. *breaks down in tears*

I miss people, I miss Adelaide, I miss independence. Nine weeks doesn't seem like such a long time, but when my current daily itinerary is so monotonous I might have to accept the fact that I'm going to lose more and more of my sanity each day. Piece by piece, until someone starts telling me how the immune system fights off viral infections...

Things that make me happier than they probably should.

What do you do when you're in a dreary mood? Think about things that make you happy of course.

1. People who say thank you!
A simple thing, really. I'm a big fan of manners and polite people, so at work, when customers say thank you ever so sincerely, it puts a big smile on my face. Especially when children have lovely manners.

2. Polka dots.

Enough said.

3. Green lights all the way home on the bus.

Nothing beats getting home from uni in about 12 minutes flat.

4. New stationery. 

This is something that makes me incredibly, disproportionately happy. The crisp, fresh pages of a notebook and a wonderful pen just scream joy to me. 

5. Mutual smiling.

6. The cold side of the pillow.

7. Fresh French fries.

8. When people enjoy my baking.

9. Receiving mail!

10. Saying major histocompatibility complex.

11. Sincere apologies.

12. La Valse d'Amelie. 

13. Christmas lights.

14. People asking for my advice and following through with it.

15. My second hand books.

16. Soft drinks in glass bottles.

17. Sweet, milky Darjeeling tea.

18. Holding someone's hand.

19. Random Facebook conversations with my crazy friends.

20. Teaching people about biology.

And finally... 21. 

There we go, feeling better already. 

A few things that inspire me...

"If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much." 

1. The honourable Sir Howard Florey. If I had never been told the story of Florey and his colleagues, I don't know if I ever would have put my dreams into action and pursue Medicine as a career. Having said that, I am currently studying Biomedical Science with no intention of going on to Medicine at this stage... BUT, while Florey was a doctor of medicine, he was a pharmacologist and pathologist in the fields of immunology and bacteriology, which is precisely what I want to go into the future. If I can achieve half as much as he did during his life I will be able to die happy. Knowing that an Australian scientist, who even went to my uni, has done something to help the world in such an astounding way inspires me to do better each and everyday. If he can do it, it's not impossible for me to as well. 

2. Lookbook.nu, the 50s and 60s and Zooey Deschanel. The three things that inspire the style I try to achieve. It works a lot better in my head, and when I actually go to the effort of putting together a nice outfit. One part all the girliness you could ever imagine, two parts effortless vintage chic. I like finding treasures in op shops, I like pretty dresses with black tights, ballet flats, all things with polka dots! I like things that are a bit different to what everyone else seems to be wearing. And if I'm ever feeling unsure about what to do with whatever is in my wardrobe, lookbook.nu is my go to place for fashion inspiration.

3. Velta Vingelis, and all the others who taught Biology 1-XXX this year. Before when I said I had no intention of going into Medicine anymore? Well, these people are the reason why. Whether this is a good thing or not I am yet to decide! All I'd ever wanted to do was be a paediatrician, skip forward to second semester this year when I realise all I want to do with my life is research, and the epiphany that I would be quite content sitting in a lab for the rest of my working life. This was a big deal for me; I'd always said I wouldn't end up a "lab geek", that it wasn't for me, that I'd rather be out on the field, but I was wrong. Until this year I didn't know what I really wanted or who I really was. Their lectures, along with the humour that the majority of biology professors seem to have, really inspired me to step outside of what I'd always known. I was naive and had no idea what was out there, and they opened up my eyes to the kind of opportunities that laid beyond graduation. 

4. My high school teachers, in particular, Karen Rhode, Tegan Whittard and Bruce Mules. It probably seems very typical to be throwing teachers in the mix here, but I really wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for them. It's not that they showed me the way to my dream career (although two of them helped me see the joy in science), but they showed me the value of learning. If I could spend the rest of my life learning, I would be a very happy Karagh. They taught me that through education one can make a better life for themselves. Just by understanding the world around you, you can make it a happier place to live in.

5. My friends. Finally, my close friends. You don't have to be an authority figure, or a famous person to be able to inspire someone. These people do it daily. Some of you drive me crazy, some of you are never around, and some of you are completely mad. But through your achievements, the way you overcome your obstacles, and the encouragement and support you offer me, you inspire me to be a better person. Your strength, talent, intelligence... Your entire auras are the reason I am where I am now. You've not only influenced my life decisions, but you've helped me through set backs that were threatening my future and my happiness. Even if you don't realise you're doing it, or you're not trying, you are the most inspiring people on this list.

Loneliness, or frustration?

I live away from home to go to uni, so on holidays, I spend just about all time at my family's house in a country town. I normally get really excited about coming home on the holidays, and I get devastated when I leave, but this time, everything feels different. It's not being around my family that's done it; if I had my way I'd take my family back to Adelaide with me. It's not work; I love my job here. It's just... The general vibe of the town. The stench of drama, loneliness, bitchiness. My town, isn't as bad as people make it out to be. I mean, there's just as much going on in other places as there is here, but I can't escape it like I can in Adelaide. If I'm feeling blue, suffocated, whatever, when I'm living away from home, I can be alone and if I want, I can go somewhere new, somewhere different. I can distract myself, I can study, I sleep it off. I don't feel like I can do that here.

I wouldn't be feeling this way if there wasn't something to trigger it, and I have been a bit down in the dumps lately due to sickness, so it's given me time to think. I'm lonely here. I know, it's strange, being lonely when I'm surrounded by my friends and family, compared to being in Adelaide where I could go days without talking to someone. But you don't have to be alone to be lonely. I thought I had it all, but over the last couple of weeks, people have drifted away like sticks thrown into the sea. Whether I pushed them or not, well, that doesn't concern me right now. What concerns me is that I don't feel like I have a soul in the world that I can confide in.

Even if you're the kind of person who likes being by themselves the majority of the time, we all need a friend at some point of our lives. I know I have friends, but I still feel excluded and desolate. Like there is no point in me being here but to make mum happy and earn some pretty sweet cash while before the study starts up again. There is so much to get out, so much I want to scream, but it's like no one is listening. Everyone has other priorities, everyone has their own lives. Maybe I should just stop complaining about it and get out there and set my own priorities straight. All I know, is I would do anything to be back in Adelaide some nights, because it's easier to cry there, than it is to in a town where you should be the happiest girl in the world.

Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.

I think we all love to have a bit of drama in our lives. Without it, I can't even imagine how boring my days would be. Not necessarily drama in our relationships, our friendships, our family, but gossip; glorious gossip. Over the last two days I've caught up with two of my best friends who I hadn't seen for quite some time, and I noticed that the first thing we do is line up all the juicy gossip we have to share. We giggle, we gasp, we get sad on the behalf of the people involved. Honestly, the drama in my small home town is exciting when it's not happening to me. But even when the tables turn, who doesn't love a bit of a chaos to liven things up?

I'm not a firm believer in arguing with people but I can be incredibly melodramatic, and I like standing up for myself and my friends. I enjoy it. And as bad as it sounds, I enjoy getting on people's nerves if they pester me. I enjoy voicing my opinion, and I enjoy, shall we say... Heated discussions with people. When a controversial topic is brought up in a tutorial at uni, I'm straight onto it. As shy I can be, if I understand something well enough to debate it, I pipe up as soon as I get a chance and I won't back down. Perhaps I do go looking for drama, tear-jerkers, heartbreak and conflict. Perhaps I do crave the excitement and social clashes. Perhaps I love getting involved and voicing my opinion. Perhaps I love getting wrapped up in whatever's happening in my friend's lives because nothing ever seems to happen in mine. Perhaps that's a good thing.

These aren't really good qualities, but hey, I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a perhaps too outwardly spoken drama queen. Chaos and drama can be incredibly heartbreaking and saddening, and of course (I need to back myself up here in case the vultures attack) I would not wish those kind of events upon myself or anyone around me just because I feel my life needs a bit of commotion to keep it interesting enough for me. Even if some people are afraid to admit it, we don't want our lives to turn into a stagnant swamp; we need a bit of chaos, even in the form of gossip with friends, to feed us the elation we so crave. But on a final note, let us be sure not to hurt anyone in the process.

Au revoir mes amis.

It's only just beginning.

Today I finished my final exam. Chemistry, blah. I can't even find the words to describe how much I detest Chemistry. But alas, it's over now. Although my performance could have been better (to say the least) I've learned not to get down about it. Worst case scenario, I have to sit a supplementary exam or repeat the topic. Best case scenario? I pass. Eep. It does make me nervous, but what's done is done, and I have survived my first year at university.

What a funny year it's been. Funny? Maybe that's not the right word to use here. Crazy? That seems to suit the situation much better. The last 11 months or so have been full of ups and downs and all those lessons I was supposed to learn and maybe shouldn't have learnt so soon. Brilliant people, tough classes, new expectations, different desires for the future... I've found myself this year. It's almost as if the real me was hiding beneath someone who was pretending. Pretending to be someone she wasn't so she could fit in with people she didn't really need. But over the last semester, I've surrounded myself with people and things that have made me happier than I could have ever imagined, and all of a sudden the pieces fit into place. Everything makes sense, and while I'm still trying to figure out where I want to be in life, I feel more real than I have for a very long time.

I've lost friends and made friends. I've learnt how it feels to love, to lose, to have your heart broken time after time again. I've failed for the first time in my life, but achieved things I never would have dreamed of. This year has been tough, and make no mistake future first year uni students, it's nothing like school. You're going to have to work your butt off to pass, you're going to learn how it feels to pull an all nighter reading journal articles that make absolutely not sense, doing long days and nights on campus, all while being in the best kind of learning atmosphere possible. I've learnt how it feels to be a mature student, responsible for my own education in an inspirational and vocationally driven environment.

All in all, this year was everything I wanted it to be and more. I don't have the huge group of Adelaide friends I thought I would, I'm not acing all my classes and I'm still not as independent as I'd like to be. But I've come out alive, and that's something to be proud of.

It's been a while!

You can tell I've been working harder this semester, I haven't posted since uni went back after the mid-year break, but here I am now, writing in the midst of my final exam week. I have to wonder what on Earth has possessed me to start writing in the busiest and most stressful week of the term, but that's just it I suppose, the stress. Adelaide is lonely, I'll be the first to say. Living away from home is especially hard when you're embarking on such an important part of your life, and your best friends are three hours away. Yes, I know, three hours doesn't seem like they're very far away, but my gosh, it definitely feels like it when I'm having a big sook.

If there's one thing I've learnt this year it's that there isn't always going to be someone there to talk to. You try so hard not to bother your friends, or you don't feel close enough to your new friends to drop a bomb shell on them when you're feeling down, or you simply don't have a soul in the world who you know is going to be all ears. I've learnt that this doesn't end well. Everyone's different, I know this. Some people don't talk to anyone about how they're feeling, or their problems, they just deal with things themselves and it works out fine. I am not one of those people. If I don't talk to someone the sadness just eats away at me. I'm a big sap when something upsets me. I simply must have a cry and know someone's always there. I'm not clingy, I'm not pathetic, I'm not always sad. I just really like talking to people.

Unfortunately, I've hit this point in my life where I feel like my world is falling apart around me. I think that's why I'm writing this post. At the moment, I'm slipping out of control, and the perfect walls I'd built up are crumbling down. And I have no one to talk to. Yes, I have Rebecca, and Maddi and Sarah (my favourite people in the whole world, and they know it too) but once again, distance has come between us. What I would give to have someone I could go to, someone who was just around the corner, someone who I could count on, to have fun with and make me forget about all these pointless things I stress over and make me smile. I guess it's reasons like these that I wish I had a boyfriend, but it's not necessary. All I need is a friend who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy theirs.

Yes, I know what this is starting to sounds. Wah wah wah, I have no friends. My life sucks, wah wah wah. But it doesn't. I have an amazing bunch of friends, and nearly everything I could possibly want in life. But lately, I'm losing that. I feel like I'm losing the one person I connected with down here, because of my stupid feelings and my annoyance complex. I'm tired of feeling like I bother everyone around me, and I'm tired of feeling lonely. Tired of friendships that make no sense to me, but tired of chasing after people when I don't know if they even want me around. Tired of it all. But what happens if I just give up? I don't want to think about it.

Advice to my non-existent offspring.

1. Don't get into cars with people you don't trust. Something my parents told me, and I have adhered to this rule a hell of a lot more than I have with any others. Have you ever had those police officers visit your school and tell you about car accidents? Yeah. Freaked me out. There's only a few people I'll let me drive me around.

2. For the love of God, don't have sex with someone you don't love or trust. And use protection. Enough said.

3. Actually try in school, please. It's hard, when your friends are acting like idiots, and it does look oh so fun. But knuckle down and work hard. From my experience, it does pay off.

4. Don't be afraid of love and heartbreak. But at the same, don't waste your time chasing after people who aren't worth it. I've done this, and it only ends badly. Sometimes you just need to throw in the towel and move on. If I had done this things really would have been so much easier. You know, what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. And as corny and cliche as it sounds, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

5. It's okay to follow trends, but don't let it stop you from being who you truly are. You're unique, accept that.

6. People are arseholes. There will be arseholes at school, arseholes at work, arseholes at uni. Don't take it personally, it's not you, it's them.

7. If something goes wrong, it really isn't the end of the world. There is no need for a complete mental breakdown, because most of time things can be fixed, or worked through. Everyone has the strength within them to get through anything, so don't make things more of a drama than they need to be.

8. Realise who your real friends are before it's too late. Stay away from the bitches.

9. When you have to sit next to someone on the bus, choose a nice old lady or a guy in a suit.

10. Stay in school, don't do drugs, and try your hardest at absolutely everything you do. Life is a beautiful thing, make the most of it.

Friendship

Friendship has always baffled me. It seems like no matter how much effort I put in, or how hard I try to be a good friend, I just can't get it right. But it's now I realise, I shouldn't have to do those things for a friendship to work. No, I'm not saying that you should stop trying in a friendship, my point more so refers to being the only one who does put in the effort. It feels like, with some people, things don't go anywhere unless I try. Unless I say the first word in conversation, unless I ask them to hang out, unless I ask them for help at a time of need. And in all honesty, it gets tiring. Like any relationship, friendship is a two-way street. For a friendship to flower both people need to communicate and be there for each other, and it seems like this is happening less and less in the friendships going on in my life. I don't know if it's just me. I get frustrated very easily and lose my patience with people. But when someone is constantly shutting down your advice and still complaining, what can you do? When they cause drama over the smallest things? When they don't support you? When they start to criticise your other friends? There is a line, and when it's crossed, you will get no sympathy from me. There's those friends who make a big deal out of everything and drag you down with them. There are those friends who'll ditch you the moment someone better comes along. There are those friends who take everything they need before running off to the next person they need something from. I know what you're thinking, I need a new friends. And you know what? I probably do. I said to my mother just last night, sometimes I wish I could just have male friends. Life would be simpler, easier. But who would I talk about shoes with? I wouldn't have anyone to discuss boys with. And I wouldn't be able to have my bitching sessions when they are required. I love my friends, most of them anyway. And we're all drama queens, girls are never going to get along perfectly (there are some exceptions to this, ie. my best friends). It all comes down to how long we can put up with each other, and whether it's going to be worth it in the end.

My Study Playlist

Yes, it that awful, awful time of year - exams! It is during this time that I begin to appreciate my music a lot more than I normally do. I can't study in silence, I always need to have music playing, so I've come up with a list of songs that I personally enjoy listening to while I'm cramming all of that information into my brain in the week leading up to those horrible things.

I think everyone needs to start with songs that will get them going, before exhaustion and, probably to a greater extent, boredom hits. You need boppy, happy songs, nothing depressing.

Hold Music - Architecture in Helsinki
Valerie - Mark Ronson/Amy Winehouse
Oh Hark! - Lisa Mitchell
The Well and the Lighthouse - The Arcade Fire
Witchdoctor - Little Red
Life is Better With You - Eskimo Joe
Wheels - Foo Fighters
E-Boogie - The Living End
Magic Fountain - Art vs Science
Sunday Best - Washington
Alice May - Andy Clockwise
Good Dancers - The Sleepy Jackson
Dawn of the Dead - Does it Offend You Yeah?
Catch my Disease - Ben Lee
Ta Douleur - Camille

You know, just to name a few...

And then, when the day is wearing thin, you need some motivational music to pick yourself back up again!

Teenager of the Year - Lo-Tel
Affirmation - Savage Garden
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Everybody Hurts - REM
The Motivation Proclamation - Good Charlotte (obviously)
Defying Gravity - Wicked Cast (well, I have the Glee version)
Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland

AND THE ULTIMATE MOTIVATIONAL SONG...

I always listen to this before uni and it never, ever fails to get me going.

So what do you like to listen to when you're hitting the books?

Decisions - Is it too early to start making them?

Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about my personality and the way I act in certain situations. I'm writing a blog post about this because getting my thoughts down in writing seems like the easiest way to clarify them. I'm starting to think that I should stick with being a medical scientist and not continue on to being a doctor. Over-thinking things has always been a terrible habit of mine, and I don't know whether it's too soon to start thinking about something that's so far into the future, or if it's important to make these kind of decisions now. I know, I'll never truly know until I get there, but what if I do study Medicine for four years and then realise I'm not cut out for it when I begin my internship? I don't think I am emotionally strong enough to be a doctor, nor am I very good at making quick, accurate decisions in critical moments. I handle pressure well, but when it comes to making the right choices on the spot, I just crack. I don't think I could handle someone dying on me, I don't think I could handle not being able to help someone... I know I've said I want to specialise in pathology, which is okay, because those "patients" are either dead, or you're just working in the lab. But there's still the four years working in a hospital prior to specialising; that's what scares me. I know I'm still young, I have a lot to learn about life still and I am sure experience will make my emotional "intelligence" so to speak a lot stronger than it is now. But I still worry. I want to be a doctor, I have for years. There's nothing more I want to do with my life than to be a healer. I want to cure the ill, help those who need and rely on me. But maybe I'll have to do it in other ways, I might not be right for this career at all.

My Personality

I've been trying to come up with new ways to procrastinate while studying for my exams (which are in two weeks, eep!) and I distracted myself from Psychology revision with a personality test; almost ironic right? This was just a short online quiz, 72 questions, apparently based on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test.

And so after answering questions as honestly as possible, it was revealed that my personality type is INFJ. Hmm, what does this mean? According to this result, I am...

• A moderately expressed introvert
• I have a distinctively expressed intuitive personality
• A moderately expressed feeling personality
• And a slightly expressed judging personality

It then went on to tell me that I should be a teacher, a counsellor, or work in social service, because apparently those four letters correspond to 'counsellor'. Uh, no thanks. But the rest of it was pretty spot on! Here's the description it gave me.

"Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists, INFJs gravitate toward such a role, are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power. INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ. Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words. INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately. Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche."

Blah blah blah, I jumped down to the part when it told me about famous INFJs. Jerry Seinfeld, Nicole Kidman, Mel Gibson, Martin Luther King Jr... Mother Teresa? Interesting.

I think these kind of tests are quite good at picking up people's personalities. Unless you were completely dishonest, your results would give a good picture at what you're like. 

Time for me to ask you guys some questions...

I know you guys are all going to be jealous when I tell you this, but today, I did gel electrophoresis in my biology practical. Okay, maybe you're not jealous, but it was a pretty exciting experience for me. I can't say I did very well with actually putting the DNA in the wells of the gel; my hands are apparently too shaky for lab work, which poses a bit of a problem considering I'll probably be doing it for the rest of my life! Anyway, my prac supervisor told us to go home and write in our diaries that we'd performed gel electrophoresis! I don't have a diary, my blog is almost like my diary, so I'm putting this down for the record. His point was that science and technology is moving so quickly that in a few year we'll be able to look back on this and see how far we've gone since then. This made me think about a few things, and I was going to ask my readers (however small the group is) a few questions! A whole paragraph just to get that point...

Advances in medicine and science are all well and good, believe me, they're going to keep me in a job in the future, I'm sure of it. But when does it become too much? This is what I have been wondering lately. For example, the "super bugs" that have shown up over the last few years, MRSA and the like. These bacteria are resistant to antibiotics, and the theory is that we've gone to so much effort to try and kill infections that they've somehow become immune to it all. I could go into the science of this, but basically it's to do with one bacteria having the mutation, surviving and reproducing. Bacteria reproduce at an alarming rate, so next thing you know you've got a whole colony of antibiotic resistant monsters sitting there just waiting to wreak some havoc. Apparently this can all be caused by people not taking their full course of antiobiotics, taking too many antibiotics, or taking the same antibiotics all the time. Why do you think this is happening? Do you think we are too paranoid about germs? Apparently children who are exposed to illness have a stronger immune system, so do you think by being too "clean" we're actually putting people at greater risk of infection and disease? Will this just keep happening until we can't fight infection at all? I ask for your thoughts on this issue!

The other thing I wanted to bring up was genetics and gene technology. This has been important for the last decade or so, because genetics really is a very recent thing. Now that we've got a draft of the human genome, I have to wonder what the next step is. We can now locate genes in the human body, and this would be great for stopping genetic diseases, but of course there will be people who will use this information for personal gain. I'm talking about designer babies and the like. Is it going too far to choose the gender, eye colour, height or personality of your unborn baby? Personally, I'm against the idea of designer babies and genetic engineering for selfish reasons. I don't think it's right at all, and feel that technology like this should be reserved for saving people's lives from horrible illnesses such as Huntington's Disease and Haemophilia.  But then there's all the religious issues, about whether we should be messing around with this kind of stuff anyway. I'm not an expert on it, but I do think it's a brilliant piece of technology and amazing things will come from it in the fiuture. Not only with humans but with creating more nutritious and disease/drought resistant plants as well. Once again, what do you guys think about this? I'm sure those of you doing Year 12 bio at the moment are sick of hearing about it, but have most likely developed your own opinions on the matter and I would love to hear them!

Surely there comes a point where we've gone too far, but I think some of the recent discoveries in science are going to save many, many lives, and I hope one day to be a part of it all!

My Collection

My most treasured possession would have to be my collection of old medical books. I've been buying them from second hand bookshops for about four years now, since mum brought me home an old medical dictionary that I instantly fell in love with. This photo barely even gives an indication of the size of my collection now. The books range from genetics, to microbiology, psychology and family medicine. The majority of them were found in a second hand bookshop in Moonta, some from the Salvos, and recently I found O'Connell's bookshop on Hindley Street. If I had more space on my bookshelf, I would have a lot more books.

I have my favourites of course, three. The first would have to one of the bacteriology books I have found. Manual of Bacteriology is in absolutely perfect condition. I intend on majoring in Microbiology, I just love bacteria and all things related, so I actually read this book very intently, carefully turning each page. (I even gave the cover a clean to make it nice and shiny again.)

Another book I would like to share is the Tutorial Pharmacy book I found. It's from 1930 and it's definitely an interesting read. It was quite concerning when I read about medicines containing arsenic, lead, cyanide and other compounds I wouldn't even consider putting in my body now. My final favourite is the most recent addition to my collection, the Synopsis of Tropical Medicine. I bought this because it was only $9, and being tropical medicine, there were some pretty weird and exotic diseases and illnesses in there. It was when I got home and saw the writing inside the cover that the book became intriguing. Although I can't read the old fashioned cursive writing very well, I  could make out a name and some funny acronym. I consulted mum and the internet and found that "Capt. R.A.M.C." meant Captain of the Royal Army Medical Corps. Underneath the year was written, Jan 45, which is of course towards the end of the Second World War. The last name is impossible for me to work out, but I'm pretty sure the first name is James, initial T. There's also another strange word starting with P with a couple of exclamation marks. I'm absorbed in finding out more about this book, I feel like there could be a story behind it. 

So if you're ever stumped about what to get me for my birthday, I'd love an old copy of Gray's Anatomy. ;)

I'm flawed!

I've come to the conclusion, that my personality is completely flawed. I get the whole "nobody's perfect" thing, and I do like who I am, but there are some things I just wish I could improve on.

Perfectionism is probably my biggest issue. I actually find pleasure in putting a painstaking amount of effort into certain things. This not only includes my assignments and homework, but how I do my hair in the mornings and cleaning my room. However, I'm unsatisfied with what I have done most of the time. I worry about everything while I'm out and about; if my ponytail is sitting perfectly, if the colours in my outfit are balanced okay. I know as a girl I'm expected to worry about my appearance, but this just gets ridiculous. If there's a chip in my nail polish I take it all off. Same goes with my makeup. If I could change something about myself I think this would be it. It interferes way too much in my life.

I think shyness and introversion is another big problem for me. I'm not very comfortable around strangers and I feel like I make things awkward if I do work up the courage to talk to people I don't know. I remember in O'Week, everyone around me was making new friends, but I found it so difficult to approach people and have a conversation with them. Even when people would talk to me, it was hard to give very good answers and keep the conversation going. I worry that being shy gives people the impression that I'm a snob. I'm not. I want to make more friends and be more outgoing and confident with social situations, but it just seems so hard. I tend to keep to myself a lot too. In big groups I rarely speak up, it's much easier for me to talk to people over the phone or internet than it is in person, and I often enjoy doing things that I can do by myself. Group assignments and team sports are a nightmare for me.

I'm obsessive and sensitive. These are probably the things that drive most people away. Maybe some people consider this a good thing, but I get attached to people to the point where I become obsessed and cling to them. This doesn't exactly make me a winner with guys. I will worry when someone doesn't reply to my text messages, and if I have to say goodbye to someone that I really enjoy spending time with I'll feel really, really sad. Being completely fixated on someone has it's downfalls. I'm pretty sure I lost my first boyfriend because of this, because being obsessed leads to being a bit a too sensitive. I'll cry if the person I'm "obsessed" with says anything wrong by me. This is justified at times, but not always. Then I just end up looking pathetic.

I could sit here and list everything that's annoying, frustrating or aggravating about my personality, but I would be here all day. The things I've written about have the biggest effect on my life, and although I said I like who I am, these things cause me so much unnecessary trouble. I can complain about these things, or I can try and change them without changing my personality to the point where I'm not me anymore. But how easy is it to change habits and mannerisms that you've had for most of your life?

Heathers

"Heather told me she teaches people 'real life.' She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful."

Heathers. My favourite film of all time. Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, dark humour, 80's fashion and more sarcasm than you can poke a stick at. A movie my father had recommended, I fell in love within the first ten minutes. There's something about it that makes me want to watch it over and over again. Such a quotable movie, see my favourite above. To give you a quick run down, you've got Veronica, a girl who attempts to be part of the in crowd, the Heathers, pretty unenthusiastically. Think of Heather 1, 2 and 3 (Duke, McNamara and Chandler) as every girl you ever hated but wanted to be, combined. Throw in JD, a bad boy with a devious side who works out a way to destroy school politics. Heathers is a film that I giggle at, while feeling guilty for it, and the issue of teenage suicide is addressed in a way that I whole heartedly agree with. Winona Ryder's monotone voice and sarcastic attitude suits the film perfectly, and Christian Slater is definitely nice to look at. For a taste of something different, or even to admire the outfits (scrunchies and blazers galore),  go out and find Heathers. You won't regret it. 

Feeling blue.

I'm having a sad day today. This blog post is more for my benefit than anything else I think so feel free to give it a miss if you don't want to hear about the silly little things bothering me. I'm hoping that by the time I finish writing this my head will be much clearer and I will feel better. I know I said this new blog was a fresh start but I think I just need to get all this down and out of my head.

My friends are probably sick of hearing about it, everyone's probably sick of hearing about it. But for some reason my break up still bothers me. Some days that is. Usually I'm fine. And what annoys me most is that it's not even because I miss him, or still love him (Thank goodness, makes things a lot easier), but because I am so confused about it. Most of the time I just don't think about it, but today it's getting to me. I still don't know why we broke up, why he just decided he didn't really want to be with me one day, after begging for me to come back the first time I tried to call it off. I do feel so much better since I put him out of my life, but he's still stuck in my mind, and catching glances of him at uni doesn't really help. If only you could permanently delete someone from your life. Even then, it might not change anything. It's this lack of closure that upsets me, and everyone just keeps telling me to put it behind me and move on... But how can I? I just want to know if there's something I've done, or something that happened with him... Was there another girl? Was there something I failed to see coming? It's even harder to move on when I remember all the mean things that were said to me. They just stick in my mind, barely even linked to him, but they sting like crazy. Being called unintelligent for being a biology student, accused of being boring and uninteresting... Of course those things are going to upset me. But once again, I'm told I just should just forget about these things. With time everything heals. I think I'm just angry about it all.

Sigh, pass me the tissues.

30 Day Song Challenge

Here we go, the 30 Day Song Challenge. This was so much harder than the film challenge.

Day 01 – Your favorite song

Under Pressure - David Bowie & Queen
Day 02 – Your least favorite song

(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight - Cutting Crew
Day 03 – A song that makes you happy

Sunday Best - Washington
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone

Kayleigh - Marillion
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere

It's Oh So Quiet - Bjork
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event

Firework - Katy Perry
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to

Buttons - Sia
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to

Coca Cola - Little Red
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep

Just a Boy - Angus and Julia Stone
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band

Rock It - Little Red
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate

Someday - Nickelback
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure

Grace Kelly - Mika
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love

The Trial - Pink Floyd
Day 15 – A song that describes you

I'm a Bitch - Meredith Brooks
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate

Smile - Lily Allen
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio

Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio

Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album

Prisoner of Society - The Living End
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry

The Saddest Thing I Know - Birds of Tokyo
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy

Twist and Shout - The Beatles
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad

Brick - Ben Folds
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding

Nowhere Without You - Bob Evans
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral

Leaving on a Jet Plane - John Denver
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh

Asshole - Dennis Leary
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument

I don't play an instrument.
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play

Hellbound - The Living End
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty

There honestly isn't a song that makes me feel guilty.
Day 29 – A song from your childhood

Don't Stop Moving - S Club 7
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year

Under Pressure - David Bowie & Queen

So I will leave you with this, my favourite song.

Attracting a Mate

Today I found an article in Dolly magazine about how to talk to guys. Although there were a few things that made sense, like smiling when you're talking to him, I was kind of shocked at some of the other things that were said. Things like purposely taking a long time to reply to his text messages so you don't seem desperate, but do get mad at him if he doesn't reply to yours immediately. The part about contacting him on Facebook really made me laugh.

"Even though every part of you wants to go to his wall and be like 'OMFG, FB FRIENDS FTW' you need to step away from the computer. Liking his status is a good way to let him know you're thinking about him. But remember, there is a one like per month limit. You don't want him thinking you're a stalker."

...cool story.

Seriously, one like per month? There's actually a limit? Wait, do guys actually interpret you liking their status as a way of you thinking about them? Even if I do like a cute guy's status, it's probably because it's showed up in my news feed, and it was something I actually did like... I'm so confused.

So, let me put together my personal guide to talking to guys and maybe getting a date. Not that I'm very good at it myself.

1. Meet him. This is probably the hardest part. You're sitting there thinking, I don't know any guys. All the guys I know aren't attractive to me. Don't go on blind dates, but DO trust your friends to introduce you to their friends. Widen your social network. Leave your bedroom once in a while. Or you know, meet people on the internet.

2. Get his attention. Feel good about yourself. This is the most important rule. Confidence draws people in, there's no point trying to get his attention by talking down about yourself and looking for compliments. He's just going to get bored and annoyed and give up eventually. Try to make friends with him, smile (Dolly weren't wrong with that one), JUST TALK TO HIM. Another great thing to consider is letting him know you're single.

3. You have his attention, now what? Flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt, flirt.

4. Finding out if he's interested in you. If he's not interested in you, you'd probably notice by now. Unless he's tricky. I seem to never notice if a guy is interested in me. This means one of two things; I'm completely oblivious to these things, or it's pretty rare that a guy is interested in me, ha. One thing I've learnt, if he keeps sneaking glances at you and smiling, he's probably got a thing for you. If he actually tells you he's interested in you, that's a good sign too.

5. Getting a date. You like him, he likes you. Let's get this thing going. You are the girl, you have the power. I'm sure plenty of guys like an assertive girl. There's no harm in asking him on a date. If he asks you on a date, that's even better. When it comes to the date, be cute, keep smiling, make him feel special, and remember, be yourself, it sounds cliche but it's important. No guy wants a girl who's pretending to be someone she's not.

Why I Miss Highschool

Who would have though that after waiting five long years for it to all be over, I would actually miss highschool. As you all know, I'm currently in my first year at uni. Graduating highschool last year was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. It was such a relief to know that never again would I have to step back through those gates and spend six hours of my day doing things I didn't really feel like doing. But some days, I just wish I could go back.

The main thing I miss about highschool, and it sounds so cliche, is the people. It was so easy to catch up with all of my friends, and just talk to anyone. I had a pretty small Year 12 class, so the majority of us got along really well. At uni, it's sometimes possible to go an entire day without talking to anyone. Although I'm beginning to increase my social network here, at first I didn't know anyone but a few school friends, and it was easy to feel lonely, even in a lecture theatre of 700 students. But even though I've made friends at uni, I miss my old friendship group from school. I loved those girls, and the guys. I felt comfortable coming to school and knowing they would always be there; in all my classes, at recess, at lunch. We'd just be able to sit down and talk about everything. These days, it would be impossible to spend six hours a day, five days a week with them, and I'm already starting to feel distance with people I was once best friends with. I know this is just a fact of life in general, but it still sucks, no one can deny that. I'm actually closer to friends that didn't move to Adelaide than some of the people I came to uni with. One of my old school friends, who stayed in Port Pirie, still faithfully emails me about everything going on in her life, and I do the same back. But in Adelaide, it's difficult to either find time to hang out with your friends, or they too have moved on to bigger and better things.

I think about how things were at school and I feel sad. I miss the best friend I had through the last 3 years of highschool. But it seems like things with her will never be the way they used to be. This is partly because of actions on my behalf, but I think moving to a big city has an awful lot to do with it as well. The same thing happened with my relationship. Through my final year of highschool, I had a relationship that I felt really comfortable in. It was still a bit rocky, but we saw each other everyday at school, and on weekends. However, after moving to Adelaide, things just became trickier. Although I don't know the reasons for the break up, we drfited apart for reasons to do with uni and living in Adelaide. I think one of the biggest problems was that he lived in Mount Barker; an hour long bus ride for me, and he only owned a motorcycle. The other issue was that going to uni AND having a girlfriend seemed to be too much for him to take on. Once again, things might have ended regardless of moving or not, but I do often dream of turning time back to 10 months ago when I felt like I had the closest knit group of friends and the most loving boyfriend in the world.

The other big reason I miss highschool, is my grades. University came as a bit of a shock for me. My tutor informed us that a credit is an exceptionally good mark at uni, and to get a distinction or high distinction is just incredible. I couldn't understand this. In Year 11 and Year 12 particularly, if I got anything less than a B I was devastated. Admittedley, I am not like this now, but going from getting A's for the majority of my subjects, to barely passing some at uni was a big deal. This was the case for Chemistry in particular. I was never amazing at Chemistry, but I was always a B student. Come to uni and I fail a test, an assignment, and sit in all my lectures with a blank stare on my face. Biology was another one. I liked getting upwards of 90% in highschool for Biology. It's my comfort zone, I put a lot more effort into it than other classes (probably not a good thing actually), and when I saw 14/20 on my first uni test, I was pretty upset. My tutor kept repeating, that's a credit! That's a good mark! I expect that from science students! But I couldn't help but feel disappointed in myself. I've come to terms with this now, and as I've been told by many other students, "P's get degrees". Unfortunately if I even want to consider getting into Honours or postgrad Medicine, I can't just get P's. But the truth is, you can still get your degree without acing every course. And at uni, it's not as competitive. In highschool, everyone knew each other's grades and it felt like we were all competing against each other to be dux or top of the class. Oh no, now I'm going on about things I didn't like about highschool. That's not what I was talking about, back to the topic!

Finally, I miss my teachers. The people I never thought I would miss. There is plenty of support for us at uni, but during my senior year especially, the teachers just seemed to be there for us every step of the way. They didn't spoon feed us, or baby us to the point where we couldn't fend for ourselves, but without their help I would have found Year 12 much more difficult than it was. Even if you just needed to talk, or vent, or scream, or even cry (which poor Mrs Rohde had to deal with a lot), they were always around, even those who weren't our subject teachers. Our senior teachers knew everything about us. At times it was like they knew what was going on in our lives better than we did. I honestly miss the friendships I had with them. At formal in particular, they didn't feel like my teachers. I wish I could have put them in a suitcase and brought them to uni with me. Even if they were just standing in the background shouting "You can do it Karagh!"

Yes, at times, I would do anything to go back to highschool. But I'm starting to become more mature, and more accustomed to university life. I'll never stop missing my friends, my teachers, or my report cards, but bigger and better things are waiting on the horizon for me too. I just need to pick myself up and move forward.

Questions From a Stranger

Recently I met this guy, Tom. In his blog he wrote a list of questions that he would ask complete strangers if he had the chance. He's almost a stranger to me, so I'm going to answer these questions for him. Hopefully he doesn't end up thinking I'm an absolute loony and runs off scared.

What kinda music do you like? Why? Did you ever like any other sort? What do you think of the indie scene? What about the mainstream stuff? Is there any music you hate? What do you think of people who get off knowing about obscure bands?


When I was in Year 8, the Triple J One Night Stand was held in my town. Prior to this, I admit, with shame, that I was very much into mainstream music. My favourite bands were Simple Plan and Good Charlotte. However, after watching The Living End very intently, my world was turned around. I became an avid Triple J listener and haven't turned back since. I suppose now, I listen to Little Red, Birds of Tokyo, Sparkadia, Washington, Sia, Sally Seltmann, Jebediah, Vampire Weekend, British India, Angus and Julia Stone, Children Collide, Eskimo Joe... I could go through my entire iPod for you. Although I am guilty of liking a few random mainstream songs, I'm not really a fan. I find it sounds very similar and the lyrics have no real meaning to them a lot of the time. If I like a mainstream song it's probably because I like to dance to it, in which case I'm hardly listening to the music properly. I don't think there is any music I hate, although I'm not a fan of country, and I'm fussy with hip hop and rap. Also, I don't really like much "trance" or electronic music or whatever it's called. As for people who get off on knowing about obscure bands, I get a bit annoyed. Indie artists seem to be appearing a bit more often on mainstream radio lately, and there are people who will like the one song that always gets played, and think they're that band's "number one fan". I have met a few people like this, I don't know if there's a massive population of them or not. But it's almost like... Well, for example, I was friends with this girl. She always claimed she was so unique, such an individual. But the truth is, she was trying so hard to be unique, that she was just following the crowd in everything she did. I feel like this is almost like that. Maybe. Do you see where I'm coming from?

Do you watch TV? What about reading? Or do you play video games? Is the modern version of reading a novel playing video games? Or is the modern version of reading a novel reading a modern novel? Do you think people do it for the escapist element? Do you? Are you comfortable with that?


Yes, I do watch TV. But not as often as I used to. Now I tend to buy DVDs of TV shows and watch them. Mainly because here I don't have Austar like I did at home, and I don't seem to have much time to turn on the TV and watch it all night. However, when I do, it's usually the Big Bang Theory. My favourite TV shows would be Pushing Daises, Offspring, Dexter and Breaking Bad. So many that have been cancelled as well; Dead Like Me, Veronica Mars... I love reading, but I lost time for it during Year 12 and have found it increasingly difficult to get back into reading for leisure rather than study. If anyone were to write me a list of good books I would definitely look into it though. I also dabble in video games, mainly Pokemon, and The Sims. I also love the Wii, I just have this obsession with it. I'm addicted to Boom Blox. My favourite game would actually be the Ace Attorney series on the Nintendo DS. I'm a pretty amateur gamer, but I really enjoy a good game. I don't think this is the modern version of reading a novel though. I think reading is timeless, it should never be replaced. I think some people probably do do it for the escapist element, but not me, I just like to have a bit of fun.

Do you know your family history? Are you proud of it? Do you care at all?


I actually love hearing about my family history. My mother did some research into our family tree a few years back. Well, some very intense research. Although there are still some gaps, basically my family on my mother's side were from Germany, and arrived in Australia in the early 20th century I believe. There were also a few from the UK... My father's side are mainly from England, and one of his ancestors was actually a knight. That's something that I found really cool.

Do you have a life story? Or do you think events are just happening and they aren’t connected?


This is a really tough question I think, for me anyway. I feel like I have a life story to tell (although it may not be very interesting, just a lot of moving around), but I'm not sure if all of the events are connected or not. I think many of them are, but a few area just random happenings. I'm afraid my life story would be nothing more than going to lots of different primary schools, being bullied, with a few accomplishments thrown in here and there. 2010 was probably the most interesting year of my life; I surpassed my own expectations, achieved Year 12 results that I'm so proud of, lost friends, and made some, had a pretty tumultuous relationship... Overall, a great but stressful year. But is this really part of my life story? Is it connected to everything that happened before that? Who knows...

Do you believe in a god or the supernatural? Do you believe what you’d like to be true or what you think is true? If you do, why doesn’t everyone know?


This question is even trickier. I actually can't say that I believe in God or that I don't. I believe the term a friend of mine used was agnostic theism, although I am not sure of it's exact meaning... I am a very strong believer in evolution and in science, so it's easy for me to say that there is no evidence for God and creationism etc. But I don't want to say that. I believe there has to be something that we just can't explain. There has to be something more to this world than what we see and touch. Maybe it's God, maybe it's something else. I think maybe we all have a soul, because there has to be a lot more to what we are than just what is laid out in our genes, and this is coming from a biomed student. I just find it so hard to say that there is no higher power that we can't see and show evidence for it's existence. I don't know if any of that made sense, I hope you see what I'm getting at. So I suppose I believe what I think is true, but at the same time, I would like for all of this to be true. It would be nice if there was something that science couldn't explain. As for the supernatural, I don't really believe in aliens (but I do believe there must be life out in space, but it's probably just bacteria or something), I don't think I believe in demons or vampires or witchcraft or anything like that. But I find myself believing in ghosts a lot of the time. When I hear stories from people about how they swear they have been in a haunted house or seen a ghost, they tell the story with such passion that I can't say they're lying. Maybe there is an explanation for everything they have said, but I just can't decide whether ghosts exist or not.


Where’s the best place to have a date? Is a movie really a good place take a girl? Is it slutty for the girl to be the pursuer in the relationship. That is, the girl is the one who gets the guys phone number, asks him out etc..


I'd just like to say that I like dates. They seem to happen less and less often these days but I think it'd be so nice to be asked on a date. A date at the movies... Hmm, maybe not in the beginning of a relationship. If you're just getting to know someone there is no point in going to the movies, you can't talk to each other! Maybe after you have started going out, and you really really want to see a movie or something. I think I like to reserve movies for friend outings sometimes. So, a great place for a date for me, would probably be going out for tea, or for lunch, or even for a coffee somewhere. Then just going for a walk somewhere nice together and talking. I would like to say a perfect date would be a picnic somewhere pretty, but I'm not sure how many guys do this anymore, haha. I sure hope it's not slutty for the girl to be the pursuer in the relationship. I'm a bit shy, but if it came down to it I would pursue a guy I had an interest in. I know it's always a bit romantic to have the guy ask you out, and I would prefer this because I seem to have a fear of rejection. But I do not think it's slutty for a girl to ask a guy out, and especially not to ask for his phone number!

A guy and a girl are on a date. The night went rather well but after they leave *wherever they were* and walk down a dark alley *for some reason* they get held up by a guy demanding their money. What should the guy in the date do? Hand over his money or fight the other guy? What is the mugger had a knife? Or a gun?


I don't think fighting is very attractive, but more importantly, no one wants a date to end in tragedy. Losing your money is a lot less upsetting than being shot, stabbed or injured. If the guy I was on a date with tried to fight the mugger, I don't think I would swoon exactly. I would probably be even more scared.

When someone asks you how you are, what do you think of? What, to you, defines whether your life is going well or not? Having a boyfriend, good grades, good food, …?


I used to think someone with a good life had all of that. A boyfriend, excellent grades, etc. But now I see that I can be happy without those things. That's not to say I wouldn't like to be in a relationship or be getting HDs for everything, but just because I don't it doesn't mean my life isn't going well. In my opinion, if I feel happy regardless of those things, my life is going well. As long as you enjoy what you're doing with you life, and are healthy and have enough money to get by, your life is good. I get really annoyed when people say their life is horrible and worthless because they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend etc, because there are people in this world who are much worse off than them. I know it gets pretty lonely without one, but we can survive. I think all of these just add that little bit of happiness to your life, which is great. But on the other hand, you could have a boyfriend and your life might not be going well, it might not be a good relationship. So you know, there are plenty of ways to look at this.

How do you define yourself? Is it your taste in music? Is it who your friends are, what you own, what your job is, what you study, …? Is it possible to not like who you are? Do you like who you are? If you don’t, would you do anything to change it?


I hate writing in those About Me sections on Facebook and other websites, because I feel like I can never accurately define myself in a few sentences. I think I'm defined by all of those things above, but at the same time, I'm not. Yes, I am definitely defined by what I study. Biology is my life. Not only am I studying Biomedical Science, but the ultimate goal is to be a doctor (didn't make it into undergraduate medicine). I really think that telling people what I study and want job I want in the future tells them a lot about who I am. I love science, I like to think I have a scientific mind and I actually want this to say who I am, because it gives me confidence in a way. I don't know if I can to be defined by who my friends are. I love my friends, but they are all so different, and I'm really different to them. And yeah, I think I can defined by my taste in music as well. I think it shows that I am an individual, a bit unique. I think it is definitely possible to not like who you are. I know this because I have felt it at various points in my life, but now, not so much. I like who I am, I'm proud of everything I've done and who I have become today. I used to think that if I could change anything about myself it would be to get rid of my glasses, but now I think they really make me who I am; distinguishable in a way? Haha. I just wouldn't be Karagh without them. So I don't think there is anything I would change at the moment. I'm pretty happy with who I am.

Well that took me a good hour and a bit, but it was actually pretty enjoyable. I hope you all, not just Tom, enjoy reading this and getting to know me a bit better.

30 Day Film Challenge

I was doing this challenge on my old Facebook profile. I had a few days left, so I've just added them onto the end. I must admit, it was actually pretty fun, although I bet people got sick of seeing my links in the news feed everyday. I will eventually get to finishing the 30 Day Song Challenge as well.

Day 1 - Your Favourite Film: Heathers

Day 2 - Your Least Favourite Film: Date Movie

Day 3 - A Film You Watch to Feel Good: Me, Myself and Irene

Day 4 - A Film That Makes You Feel Down: My Sister's Keeper

Day 5 - A Film That Reminds You of Someone: Adam

Day 6 - A Film That Reminds You of Somewhere: My Neighbour Totoro

Day 7 - A Film That Reminds You of Your Past: The Clique

Day 8 - The Film That You Can Quotes Best: Mean Girls

Day 9 - A Film With Your Favourite Actor: Benny & Joon

Day 10 - A Film With Your Favourite Actress: Riding In Cars With Boys

Day 11 - A Film By Your Favourite Director: Big Fish

Day 12 - A Film By Your Least Favourite Director: Titanic

Day 13 - A Guilty Pleasure: Cluless

Day 14 - A Film That No One Expected You To Like: Blade Runner

Day 15 - A Film That Depicts Your Life: Looking for Alibrandi

Day 16 - A Film You Used To Love But Now Hate: 50 First Dates

Day 17 - Your Favourite Drama Film: The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas

Day 18 - Your Favourite Comedy Film: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Day 19 - Your Favourite Action Film: True Romance

Day 20 - Your Favourite Romantic Film: The Time Traveler's Wife

Day 21 - Your Favourite Fantasy Film: Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban

Day 22 - Your Favourite Horror Film: Sleepy Hollow

Day 23 - Your Favourite Thriller/Mystery Film: Misery

Day 24 - Your Favourite Animated Film: Howl's Moving Castle

Day 25 - Your Favourite Documentary Film: The Blue Planet

Day 26 - Your Favourite Foreign Language Film: Kommissar Rex

Day 27 - Your Favourite Independent Film: Juno

Day 28 - The Most Obscure Film You Have Ever Seen: Married Life

Day 29 - Your Favourite Film As a Kid: Napoleon 

Day 30 - Your Favourite Film This Time Last Year: Heathers

Sub cruce lumen.

A post about university, how original. More importantly, it is a post about my university, and all those little things I love about it, and being a uni student in general. I had always had my heart set on the University of Adelaide. Whenever we would visit the city and drive along North Terrace I would see the sandstone buildings and something inside me just knew it was the right university for me. When it came to applying for university last year, I only applied for one out of six courses at a different university, and that was only because it also offered undergraduate Medicine. Perhaps it's the part of me that loves success, it was just chance really that Adelaide Uni offered courses I was interested in. 

The University of Adelaide is a Group of Eight member, and one of the leading universities in the world, not that I knew any of that at the time. I didn't research any of the universities before applying; there were only three options and I never really considered UniSA. I feel like my uni has this amazing history behind it. Being the oldest in South Australia, there have been so many extraordinary people walk through it's doors. Douglas Mawson, William Bragg, five Nobel laureates, including Sir Howard Florey, the man who inspired me to pursue a career in the field of Medicine. 

Moving on to the present day, I am a first year student studying Biomedical Science. I was scared of uni to be honest, but I don't feel the transition could have been any easier. I love my courses, and I know I'm going to love my degree, albeit it not being my first preference (I curse the UMAT). I just feel at home at uni. There is nothing in this world I would want to do that doesn't involve going to uni.  I feel at peace when I walk through the grounds, and when I occasionally hear the orchestra playing in Elder Hall I remember how amazing this place is, and how lucky I am to be there.

At university, you can't help but be surrounded with people who are quite similar to you. It's very easy to find people with common interests, and most of the people I have met are absolutely lovely. As tough as it is sometimes, I enjoy going to uni, and I enjoy everything I learn, and especially my practicals. Oh the practicals, undoubtedly my favourite part of university. Such a big leap from the practicals at high school, I've been doing things that would have seemed far too complicated for me to be able to do just a few months ago. That's another thing I love about uni, my confidence has increased ten fold. I'm doing things and learning things that I never knew I was capable of. 

I was told that I have the inquisitive mind of a true scientist. This is probably the most important thing that has been said to be at university so far. I love my university, and although I eagerly await graduation and stepping out into the "real world", I really am going to make the most of the next few years. I might even stay and do Honours.

A New Beginning

"Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over."

This is still the same blog, but I feel as though it's time for a fresh start. My old blog posts seemed to have a lot more to do with a painful break up than anything else, and I don't feel as though that really says who I am, not the new me anyway. So with a new beginning, comes a brighter, happier, more entertaining Karagh, or so I like to think. Being bitter just eats away at you, so from now on it's all smiles, at least until exam time rolls around in a few weeks.